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Friday, January 16, 2009

Newmoon


It can never be too cold at Forks...My hands tremble with thoughts of losing you. I sweat in spite of the freezing cold. I can be too cerebral and over think it. My brain too consumed with those morbid flashes, sending the wrong signals. But, can it ever be right when someone leaves?

Each passing of the silver Volvo is punctuated by the distinctive squeal of brakes…My silver lining peeking through my endless twists and turns fails to mend the even bigger rainstorm coming. The puddles left make an imprint. The aftermath halts like thunder. Can those efforts stop the hurt you feel inside?

I remember the way you touch my face when darkness comes, those piercing topaz eyes more intent than before….I feel a shiver down my spine as I lay awake and forlorn. An insomniac, with no tranquilizers. My visions are just too real. Rewind and replay like downloading a video. A craving that eventually dulls my senses.The coldness of my bed to match the horror in your eyes as you watch me slowly become catatonic. Can you ever truly see me live once again?

His lullaby speaks no languages. A humming tune only for me…
Tonight I hum alone. The sweet melody I have memorized by heart. Only my shuffle to keep me company in the coming nights. His voice keeps repeating in my ear. Much too incessant like tinnitus. Oh crap! I wish I can be more imaginative and start composing lyrics. And hear what I only want to hear. But, can you ever sing from your heart again?

Like a million diamonds you shine when the sun boasts of its splendor…I can only be blinded with the harsh reality of us together. My teeth clench every time I take a mere glimpse of you. You radiate in multicolored prisms stinging my eyes. Collective pleasures fleeting then become remote. No brightness to distract me from my delusions. Can you ever wrap your arms around me and keep me there?

He’s leaving. Where he is going? It’s not the right place for you….No! Take my body, take my soul. Have me in any way, just take me. Desperate, insane, ridiculous and nauseating. It can never be a pretty package. And I’m not buying this… Yet time can be forgiving. You can always learn to cope, to believe, and to love again. Even if you start from the ashes. I can live each day with the bruise.
Will he ever come back?…Can you ever rise above your new moon?

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