Eclipse

Triangle. With three equal sides it makes it perfect. Can two relationships be at par? Can you equally divide your heart and love two persons at the same time? When one side of the triangle is shorter, the rest however, still becomes equal. It can no longer be the perfect shape, but the two can now see eye to eye.

One gives you a crystal heart. It is pure like his intentions, magical like his words, unbreakable like his promises and precious as his thoughts. The perfect cut, the gem you would die for. He is such a sucker for Patience and Virtue, amazingly tolerant of your whims and flares yet never being overboard. "Too much too soon" makes it insignificant in the future. Everything has its perfect timing. Give it a moment to sink in then you will agree that it’s worth the wait. It may even take years for you to agree, but always try not to do anything on impulse. The wolf is happily there to catch you, teeth and all.

The other showers you with the earth. Excitement, Risk and Loyalty make up his name. He is the "unofficial", the fling, the challenger and the buffer. He is the face that reappears in your dreams every M-W-F. He patiently waits for your call, while he rearranges his malignant and troubled mind. Light conversations come easy because deep ones bore him. Maybe, he doesn’t want to let his guard down, hates to sound desperate and mushy when you give a little bit of yourself. He marks his territory, pretty wicked cool of him to even consider it. Lost in translation. You don’t consider him your top priority, yet you are concerned of his welfare. You want him to take a back seat and throw your fears away. But he continues to recycle after you discard him. He bounces back, the ever loyal fan.

Both are so different in character, yet painfully charming. Your yin and yang. Both gives you butterflies in your stomach. Like comfort food, both satisfies your appetite and quenches the thirst. You repeatedly go back to it, fulfilling your satiety center. Can you exist without the other? The pattern will go on until you make up your mind. You can love them both, on different planes and levels. But, someone has to take you to higher heights, to a place no one can tread except you and the Chosen One.

Like an eclipse, one obscures the other like the sun eclipses on the moon. Then you can start to live your own little world of love…I have chosen and I wear his ring. Have you?

Newmoon

It can never be too cold at Forks...My hands tremble with thoughts of losing you. I sweat in spite of the freezing cold. I can be too cerebral and over think it. My brain too consumed with those morbid flashes, sending the wrong signals. But, can it ever be right when someone leaves?

Each passing of the silver Volvo is punctuated by the distinctive squeal of brakes…My silver lining peeking through my endless twists and turns fails to mend the even bigger rainstorm coming. The puddles left make an imprint. The aftermath halts like thunder. Can those efforts stop the hurt you feel inside?

I remember the way you touch my face when darkness comes, those piercing topaz eyes more intent than before….I feel a shiver down my spine as I lay awake and forlorn. An insomniac, with no tranquilizers. My visions are just too real. Rewind and replay like downloading a video. A craving that eventually dulls my senses.The coldness of my bed to match the horror in your eyes as you watch me slowly become catatonic. Can you ever truly see me live once again?

His lullaby speaks no languages. A humming tune only for me…Tonight I hum alone. The sweet melody I have memorized by heart. Only my shuffle to keep me company in the coming nights. His voice keeps repeating in my ear. Much too incessant like tinnitus. Oh crap! I wish I can be more imaginative and start composing lyrics. And hear what I only want to hear. But, can you ever sing from your heart again?

Like a million diamonds you shine when the sun boasts of its splendor…I can only be blinded with the harsh reality of us together. My teeth clench every time I take a mere glimpse of you. You radiate in multicolored prisms stinging my eyes. Collective pleasures fleeting then become remote. No brightness to distract me from my delusions. Can you ever wrap your arms around me and keep me there?

He’s leaving. Where he is going? It’s not the right place for you….No! Take my body, take my soul. Have me in any way, just take me. Desperate, insane, ridiculous and nauseating. It can never be a pretty package. And I’m not buying this… Yet time can be forgiving. You can always learn to cope, to believe, and to love again. Even if you start from the ashes. I can live each day with the bruise.
Will he ever come back?…Can you ever rise above your new moon?

Twilight

When you can live forever, what do you live for?
LOVE. The most powerful emotion that transcends beyond mortality. It grips, grows, and poisons the core of one’s being. It allows you to fall, to commit mistakes, then to rise above it all. You fake it, deny it, yet abandon yourself all together when it’s too powerful to contain.

In your existence there is the ONE person who shares this enigmatic rollercoaster ride with you. Like circuits, he electrifies the most minute and innate connections. With your eyes more glaring than lightbulbs, he puts you on a frenzy, gives you an arrythmia, then sucks the daylights out of you. It is this overwhelming feeling of wanting, needing and living like a parasite to the most tempting host. Not any drug addiction can compare the highs of a human in love.

I had my share of Jacobs, always risking and believing that we can last a lifetime. I did believe but I cannot foresee. I cannot go beyond his promises and remain fulfilled. There were always questions, gaps and apprehensions. I learned to survive, then to die a little… then to let go.

There can only be ONE Edward. I found mine in the midst of zombiehood. Surely one can exist with a bland routine, but one can never truly breathe. I stopped searching. He came. He is that person who somehow reads my mind, finishing my sentences. He patiently listens to my diarrhea of words, always on the affirmative in spite of my stupidity. When I’m fierce, he lets me be knowing i would fizzle out when I’ve said my piece. With him, I have become a manipulative brat, a clinger too selfish yet awkwardly beautiful to deny. He looks poker-faced, seemingly cold and distant to others. But he is just the opposite. He is warm and comforting. His smile can embarrass any toothpaste commercial model. For a fact, he is 80% like me. Reserve the 20% for his own uniqueness. We can jump off a cliff together confident he would save me from drowning. I can get lost in any forest assured that he would cover my tracks. Everywhere I go, he is there. Surprisingly, I am not pissed off. I want him to be there. Existing beyond my twilight.

Call it destiny or fate. You meet that ONE person, always halfway. You can see and feel it in your nerves when he comes. That ONE person…your Soul mate.

My Handpainted Twilight Converse

Being a huge fan of Twilight, I started painting Twi-related artwear. My works on Converse and other canvass shoes have been doing well both locally and internationally. Thanks to fellow Twilighters who appreciate my artworks. Here are some of them...
http://www.etsy.com/shop/alcat2021